Values that the Ducks taught me Part 1

The present day is a time where people seem to identify themselves through their values more than ever. Is abortion immoral? Is war the answer? Why do people still like Nickelback? The answers to questions like these seem to create at least a certain amount of what makes you an individual. Since I really haven't been able to figure out my own values for myself, I turn to the media to figure them out for me (which is why I still can't answer that damn Nickleback question). As a child, I decided to take most of my values from D2.

Truly, Truly Awful

For example, values like:

PATRIOTISM

"In Bombay I Trust."

International competition always will cause the patriot bug to bite my ass and make me wave the American Flag (but it will never make me like Toby Keith). It's a time when true American heroes are born and a little bit of faith and unity is restored to this awesome land we like to call America. 

Pictured: American Hero

However, when we enter the realm of Junior International Competition, well I can't be responsible for the red, white and blue fireworks that might shoot out my ass. The Mighty Ducks entered the Junior Goodwill games by taking on Trinidad and Tobago, a matchup that would be similar to my little sister vs Lebron James. After "making a statement..." with those pesky trinidadians(?), the Ducks beat the hell out of any team they faced (Germany AND Italy, its like a kiddy World War 2!!). And it is only after having their asses supremely handed to them by the Icelandic team do they realize that sometimes America really has to work for its victories, especially against Iceland, who I like to think is the fourth member of the Axis of Evil. Well after having a deep look within themselves and learning that Iceland's whaling industry is huge, the Ducks got pissed enough to beat the team that embarrassed them earlier. 

 

Team Iceland's favorite movie

But (SPOILER ALERT) the Ducks win and bring home the freaking Gold!! I'm pretty sure when I saw that scene I wanted to join the army there at age 8. It is at this moment I decided probably every country could never be as good as the good ol' US of A!!!

Also at the end when Julie the Cat says "nice try" to Gunner Stahl after he just lost the game and fucked his country's chance of NOT falling into obscurity, was she just being a bitch or a really good sport? My vote is both.

"Nice try, but seriously you just got beat by a girl with no experience"

Julie "The Cat"